Memory of Death  Cut Scenes and Drabbles
by Spout-of-Reianess
Summary: Has spoilers for my story Memory of Death. Read that first. This is just as the title says. Warnings for pre-established m!HawkexFenris, angst, hurt/comfort, and WAFF/fluff.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Scenes that just didn't make it in... ._.

o0O.O0o

**-Yuck-**

"Hey, look over there! What's that?" Hawke pointed somewhere behind Denebe, and when she turned, hastily poured out the nasty concoction.

She turned back around. "I don't see- Oh! You finished that off pretty quick. I suppose you decided you liked you better on the second try?" She smiled sweetly.

"Uh yeah, sure. What you said."

**-Not Too Soon-**

"You must be so alone up there, my love. Or perhaps you've regained your memories, and you're not so alone after all?" Hawke sighed softly. "I wish that I were there with you, holding you and kissing you. Touching your skin and your hair. But I will see you soon, my heart. Very soon…" Toma stared down lovingly at the bloodied blade in his hand, his vision starting to fade. He no longer felt pain; and there was nothing. All accompanying darkness. It was so sweet.

**-Story Time-**

"Papa, tell me about na lath (your love)," Fenlen said as he snuggled up to Hawke, sharing his warmth in the cold night.

"Again? You must know just about everything about him by now," the ex-mage chuckled.

"But I really like hearing about him. My favorite is the first time you met. Tell me that one!" Fenlen practically bounced in excitement.

Toma laughed. "But I told it to you just last night," he said with amusement.

"_Please_?"

_Damn those puppy eyes. Fenris was a master of them too. _"Oh, alright," he gave in. "I and my companions were hired as a distraction, although we weren't told that at the time. We were tricked into thinking that we were retrieving something of great value for our employer. As it turned out, our employer was the object that we were trying to obtain…"

**-Your Eyes-**

Those eyes… Sparkling, glittering, golden eyes. He knew that gaze. Oh, Maker. They were longing and hoping and filled with so much love and despair. They were pleading him, begging him to remember who they belonged to. He couldn't look at those eyes any longer. He turned his head. "No, Master," he said. "He is a stranger to me." Those eyes had burned a hole straight into his heart. He could feel it twinge in sorrow as that gold shimmered with anguish. _Maker, what have I done?_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: FLUFF and OOCness

o0O.O0o

**-Little Storyteller-**

((First ending. A year later.))

"Tell me the story about when I met your Papa again?" Fenris asked.

"Again Mamae? I told it to you last night," replied Fenlen.

"Yes, but it's my favorite one," the elder elf smiled.

"You and your puppy eyes, Mamae. I can only hope to be as good as you some day," the child laughed. "I give! But you have to tell me a story tomorrow night instead, okay?" the elder nodded eagerly and snuggled up to his dead lover's, and now his, son. "Hawke and his companions were hired as a distraction, although they weren't told it at the time. You see, they were tricked into thinking that they were retrieving something of great value for their employer. As it turned out, said employer was the object that they were trying to obtain. And all of this was orchestrated by one _very_ handsome, smooth-talking elf…"

**-Waltzing ****Down Memory Lane-**

((Second ending. The night of their reunion.))

"Good night, pup," Toma whispered.

"'Night Papa," Fenlen murmured back sleepily.

Hawke closed the door behind him softly before turning to his companion. He gestured for the elf to follow and led him into the bedroom they had once shared.

The mage uncorked a bottle of agregio and guzzled it straight from the bottle. He stopped to breathe and offered the alcohol to the elf.

"Fenris, you…" he sighed deeply. "You still don't remember do you?"

The fair-skinned elf shook his head regretfully and replied, "I only know what stories Fenlen has shared with me. Other than that… Your eyes… Every time I look into them, there is a niggling at the back of my skull. Something struggling to come forward, but it can't escape whatever ties it down."

Gold eyes filled with sorrow, and the mage looked away and into the fireplace as if it held all the answers. "Then…" he started and paused before speaking again. "Then we'll just have to make some new memories." He looked at his lover determinedly.

"That we shall," Fenris replied and reached for the human, spinning him into the wall as he assaulted the other's lips.

They broke apart, and Hawke smirked down at the elf. "Would you care to dance?"

**-Butterfly Luck-**

"Mamae! Mamae! Look at what I found!" Fenlen held out his cupped hands to the elder elf's face.

Fenris peeked through the child's fingers to see a pretty blue butterfly with bright purple markings. "It's lovely, Fenlen. Where did you find such a treasure in a place like this?"

"It was above our door. Papa says it's good luck, but he told me to let it go after I showed you," the boy pouted slightly. "He said it's so that it can spread more luck to other people. But why can't we keep all the luck for ourselves, Mamae?"

"There are other families less fortunate than, Fenlen," Fenris stated. "We are very well-off because your Papa is well-known in Kirkwall. That's why we live in such a big house instead of the alienage. You should let it go then may be some cute little boy or girl can find it and it will bring them a wonderful Papa like Toma."

"Or a pretty Mamae like you," Fenlen grinned.

"Eheh," the elder elf blushed. "Or a pretty Mamae… like me."

"Go find a cute little girl a pretty Mamae," he whispered to the butterfly before releasing it, then running after it to see where it would go.

A strong arm embraced the elf from behind, and Toma nibbled on his lover's ear before murmuring, "I think you're a pretty Mamae too."

Fenris's face couldn't get any redder.

**-Oh Mother-**

"Fenlen, why do you call me Mamae? You realize that I am male, right?"

"Because I already have a Papa, and you're Papa's lover so that makes you my Mamae," the boy explained smartly.

"Then why can't Toma be Mamae, and I be Papa. He's more mothering than I am," the elder elf pursued the topic.

"I already asked him if I could call him Papa," came the answer in a no-nonsense tone.

"Why didn't you ask me if you could call me Mamae?"

"Papa said I could."

Fenris shot the eavesdropping human and dirty look, receiving a perverted leer in return. The elf rolled his eyes.

"Men," he muttered under his breath.

"Women," Fenlen snorted in disgust and stuck out his tongue. "At least boys don't have cooties."

)-Elvish Translation-(

*Mamae - Mother


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Angst, drama, hurt/comfort, and OOCness

o0O.O0o

**-Erasing the Taint-**

The couple lounged in the comfortable silence, broken only by the crackle of the fire and the whisper of turning pages. Fenris was reclining against Toma's chest, while the mage used the elf's shoulder as a resting place for his chin, his muscular arm wrapped around the slighter male's thin waist.

Then the blond broke the quiet with a jarring question that caused the fair-skinned warrior to close his book without bothering to mark his place.

"Why don't you ever call Fenlen any pet names?" Toma asked his lover. "He's starting to feel as if you don't love him as much as I."

"You know that is untrue."

"I do, but does he?"

Fenris was silent as he straightened from his relaxed position, emotionally and physically distancing himself from Hawke.

The blond sighed heavily. "He's just a child, Fenris. He has insecurities like any other boy his age. You can't expect him to just instinctively understand your motives, not like I do. I can read you, lover; I know your face. Fenlen, however doesn't have that privilege."

There was a pregnant pause, the air stifling the couple with its emotional heaviness. Hawke let out a small sigh as Fenris spoke again.

"I know none other than those used by you," he said. "And I have no knack for making them up."

"Surely that can't be true." The elf shot his lover a look. "Well, perhaps it is, but why don't you take one of mine?"

"I couldn't. It would feel like stealing," the warrior replied.

Toma paused in thought before cautiously saying, "Did Danarius ever…"

"Yes," the elf snapped. "And I hated being called by them. It was… degrading."

"What were they?" the golden-eyed man prompted curiously.

"His favorites were 'My Pet' and 'Little Wolf.'"

"Little wolf doesn't sound so bad, and really it kind of fits him…"

"No!" the elf shouted and stood up angrily. "I could never call Fenlen something so tainted. He's such a pure child," he said more softly this time.

"I believe it is only tainted because you allow it to be," Hawke told him. "Danarius would have wanted you to feel hate and disgust towards the names he called you. Don't let that monster control even beyond the grave. He's dead now. Make the name your own."

"I… I don't know, Toma."

"Try it just once, love," the human murmured. "Tomorrow night when we put Fenlen to bed."

((That night…))

"Good night Papa, Mamae."

"Pleasant dreams, sweetling," the man replied.

Fenris hesitated a tick before saying, "Sleep well, emma da'fen."

Fenlen gave the elder elf a sweet smile. "Ma'arlath, Mamae."

"Ma'arlath." The warrior smiled back softly.

**-Blood Craving-**

"And the fisherman's wife said…" the mage nattered on about his strange day at the market, while his elvhen lover nodded absently, chopping vegetables for their lunch.

Fenris admired the view as Hawke bent at the waist to stir the stew cooking over the fire."

"…but that's all relative. Right, love?" The blond waited for an answer before turning around the look at the slighter male curiously. "Fenris, are you even listening to me?" he asked in amusement.

"Ah!" the elf started when a sun-kissed hand waved in front of his green eyes, cutting himself with the knife he'd been holding.

"Fenris! Are you ok?" the blond asked worriedly.

"I'll be fine. Just a scratch. I wasn't paying attention is all… Hawke?" the warrior was startled to see the mage's eyes glowing red and focused on his cut finger. Or more towards the fact that there was blood seeping from said cut.

**_Give in. You know want to. Just a little taste is all. Look at that sweet temptation. So, so red. Warm, filling, delicious…_**

"But I don't want…" the human protested.

"Toma?" Fenris slowly put down the knife out of the man's reach. "Toma, are you alright?"

"N-no I… **Give it to me!**"

Hawke lunged, but Fenris was ready for him, using the heavier male's momentum against him, he spun the blond, throwing him to the ground and straddling his waist. His demon-possessed lover was trying to grapple with him, but its disadvantage was too great. The elf had the demon pinned by its wrist, his other hand pushing down on the opposite shoulder.

"Toma, you can fight this! Wake up! It's me! It's Fenris, Toma! Come to your senses!" he shouted.

The silver-haired male leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hawke's. The demon growled into the kiss, but its struggles stopped. Fenris's lips moved against his companion's still ones, putting into it as much love and passion as he could muster.

Then Hawke began to kiss back, plunging his tongue into the elf's mouth and thoroughly reclaiming its well-known territory. Fenris's grip relaxed, but the blond made no move to free himself.

When they finally broke apart, the mage stared at his elvhen lover, gold eyes shimmering sadly. A few stray tears escaped as he blinked.

"Toma, what's wrong?" the green-eyed elf asked softly.

"You should hate me," he whispered brokenly. "I'm so horrible."

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. You are my everything, you and Fenlen." Fenris stroked Hawke's cheek tenderly. "We will fight this demon together. I won't let you give in to it, emma vhenan," he told the man doubtlessly.

The mage smiled. "Ma'arlath, emma sa'lath."

"Ma'arlath." The elf smiled back.

)-Elvish Translation-(

*Mamae - Mother

**Ma'arlath - I love you

***Emma da'fen - my little wolf

****Emma vhenan - my heart

*****Emma sa'lath - my one love


End file.
